It still feels weird typing 2010. We are supposed to be far out into space by now. The other day I saw a genius. I mean 180 IQ smart guy. A beyond mensa guy. He said something that just struck me. We were talking about sci-fi (I'm a dork) and the topic of transporting came into play. He told me that transporting a human is impossible because you can't transport the soul. That would make sense to me since there is no way to quantify on paper each human soul. The ghost in the machine is something we can't touch, at least not with technology.
Feb 26, 2010
You just can't make this crap up. Sit down and get your popcorn, I have one hellofa story to tell.
Last year about this time I ended a relationship. I caught my boyfriend (jjkelly) cheating on me with 2 women. One civi and one provider. The provider was supposed to be my friend but she slipped in and took him out from underneath me at the first sign of discord. That providers name was zendragon. Talented provider, but not so great in real life. The civi was unknown to me but we became friends briefly. He tried to have me served with lawsuit papers claiming I broke a bunch of shit when I found out he was cheating (I neither confirm or deny those allegations) It was a particularly hard time in my life and I was not easy to get along with. It was actually the first fight we ever had that lead to the breakup (I'm proud I lasted 2 years with no fights and lots of cock sucking.) The server was never able to give me the papers and the thing was dropped until 2 days ago. (keep in mind we have been broken up for almost a year and I've even forgotten what he looks like.) A new server from the private sector tried to serve me. Having my EX Husband being a dumbass actually served me this time. He (the ex hubby) opened my door when he was watching our kiddo. I have strict instructions that my door is NEVER to be answered. If you know me, you know to announce yourself and I will let you in. Thank God he didn't send him to my office (and he can be that retarded.) Anywho, the guy harassed me for quite awhile until I used my wiles on him and got some information. Mostly what I learned is that he was a total liar and why the hell should I make his job easier?
Now, this Process server actually called me from a blocked num (which my phone will unblock and tell me who it is) and proceeded to leave the following message.
"I was just seeing if you were there. Really like to come and just fuck you in your ass today. I know you'd like that. You love it when I stick it in your butt. You always do. So when you tell me you wanna get together and really have some great sex, give me a call. Bye."
Now jjkelly had told the PS what I do and told him to just harass me (like I give a crap, do you have any idea how many of those calls come in a day?) Well because of the awesome program on my phone, I was sent the "blocked" VM in text and email. Bad move buddy.
My incredible awesome attorney (shyster Jon) took that info and started with his magic. Found out the PS works for his MOTHER. (someone Jon knows personally none the less) Shyster played her the message her son left me, and BOY she was not happy. ... oh not happy at all!! You talk about one pissed off woman. And rightly so, how unprofessional can you get. We'd have every right to turn them into the state's regulatory department for PS. They both apologized adamantly to shyster and called jjkelly an "asshole" and a "jerk" and they would not be accepting his business on this. (smart move.) Gawd guys can you imagine your mother hearing your voice telling a woman that?
So now that's twice he's tried to serve me for a really stupid lawsuit and FAILED. I'm now ready. So much time has passed I'm set and ready to go. The next person that comes, I'm going to happily take the paper. Let's do this dance.
My favorite part about this is that I've been on his mind for a year and I could care less if this guy lives or dies. My life is so full, I wouldn't use precious space on him. I used to think I'd never get over him. I really did love him and he really did fuck me over beyond believe. Time really does heal all wounds (except for him apparently. Poor guy.) I believe it's angel that has the tag line that reads "Love me or hate me, I'm still on your mind."
And this is just one day's story. If I wrote more often I really could write a book.
For anyone that ever has to deal with Process Servers, just remember they are liars. They will lie their way into your confidence so they can serve you. A dishonorable job I believe, but they probably feel the same about me. Fortunately what they think about me is none of my business.
If I were to write a letter to jjkelly I would say, Your mind has been poisened and it's time for you to move on with what you have chosen. You married Zendragon just to spite me and I bet you are totally regretting that move huh buddy. She married you because she thought you had cash. (OH yes she did and she's told it to people that as well.) Come to think of it, I bet she's pretty sorry for her move too. Lot's of stuff you didn't count on I'd bet. Just forget about me and the hobby. I'm old news and no threat....
It's sorta like palestine thinking they have rights to Israel. Israel will kick your ass every time, or at least take a beating with style.<-Another topic for another time.
February 9, 2010
I'm very proud to show the new improvements I've made since the fire. I just love this. It's like really walking into another realm. There is something so special about truly loving your cubical. I turned mine into my own personal escape. I do hope you enjoy this as much as I do.
January30, 2010
Every so often, if we are lucky enough, there is a moment when you just totally love something about yourself. It happened to me last night. I went back blond and I haven't really gotten used to it yet. So, I took a picture of the back my head right before bed. I had not done my hair for anything special. I was just about to climb into bed ALONE, when I took this picture. I couldn't believe it. That is some awesome hair!! I wanted to share it with you so you can laugh at me a little for being a silly girl.
Fun fact about me... I cut my own hair and have all other work done by students at the school down the street.
Beside the fact for the first time in my life I'm thrilled with a hair choice I made, I'm doing so well right now I keep wondering when the ball will drop. Fortunately I have some indian hair tampons to smoke that remind me that shit will always happen, so why the hell would you ruin the good times with worrying about the bad. That's pretty dumb. So Cheers my dears. I'm off to see a leprechaun about a rainbow.
This was emailed to me from a dear friend after I posted the pic above.
Jan15, 2010
OK this is on a short cut to TRF on a back road of south Texas. I know the words are very hard to see but it reads "Hooker Haven" up on the barn doors. I got a wide view so you could see what everything looked like around it. My hand to God guys, it stands there to this day.
Sep 25, 2009
OK the move is finally complete. The house is beautiful and bigger than I ever thought we would have. I might not be able to resist turning it into the new clubhouse naughtyville though. It's too perfect. 7 bedrooms, 2 living areas, HUGE kitchen, party room with Bar, Pool, party deck above the garage and a sun deck. I mean it's just perfect. Thank God for mother in law, back of the property, houses. It's the perfect escape. You know you're rich when you need an escape from your escape. Gawd I love my life.
Everything in life is perfect right now. I almost feel guilty that I have nothing to complain about. I really don't think I could have mail ordered a better life right now.
Ze has moved on to her new life and I wish her well. I will give updates as I get them, but don't hold your breath. She can take a while to respond sometimes.
TRF is starting soon and we will be doing a hobby weekend. Anyone that wants to go or can escape for a "business trip" is welcome to go. The price will vary on how many people actually go and how much the trailer will cost. We will be roughing it in a huge camper with power. I will say though, the public group (the one by the pit where everyone goes, not the private groups at each car) has gotten to be a bit young and stupid. They are nothing but kids. What happened was, the old hippies withdrew from the lifestyle before teaching the younglings how to conduct themselves. It just takes one generation to not give a shit, to change history forever. Anyway, if you wish to go give me a shout. I don't know any details yet. All I know is my immediate circle of friends will be going, so join us for a weekend out of this world... or at least out of this time.
Texas Renaissance Faire in Conroe (look it up)
June 7, 2009 The fountain of Youth is inside each of us.
This last week has been wonderful. It has been one of those wonderful times in my life when everything is clear and I can see my entire life unfold before me. I remember who I am and what a gift each day is. I look forward to the unknown again. It is a peace that is only found in realization. The kind of realization that comes from the remembrance of past adventures and the anticipation of new ones.
I am so excited about things to come. The pleasures of youth can belong to anyone at any age. The same with love. Young love defines the age of the love, not the age of the people within it. Do you remember what you felt when you had something wonderful to do the next day? You could barely sleep with excitement.... Don't forget that excitement as you grow older. It's the secret that keeps us young.
April 27, 2009
Well because of the hack I did lose all the entries made from sept till now, but I'm back in the saddle and ready to go again. Can't keep a good woman down, we just pop right back up and head butt you.
Stay tuned for more but right now, I am fixing the damage caused by the hack. For anyone that received an email from me this past weekend from the group it WAS NOT FROM ME. If you actually think I would write as badly as that person did, I probably don't want to see you anyway. Good lord it was just embarrassing how awful the writing style was... and in my name too. Oh well, it's done and over and we all will move forward into the beautiful sunlight that is our future.
September 24, 2008
When we are young, we are invincible. We know that every day will be as wonderful as the last because we will be forever young and happy and life will always be as it is today. As we grow older, we make the uncomfortable discovery that is not true. Turning 40 feels the same as 20, we just creak a little more. Probably by that birthday, we have suffered great loss of things and people in our life that we were so convinced would last forever. It would be very easy to start getting pretty depressed at the discovery that EVERYTHING will change.... almost daily... the older we get.
I have recently had to go through my first real hard time of realization that something I always thought would be there.... isn't anymore. That time in my life is over and it brings tears to my eyes even as I write this. Noone (that i've met thus far) enjoys leaving their comfort zone. The unknown is a bit more scary without the security of that which has always been.
I have also come to realize... really realize that I am someone's comfort zone too. Even though mine is gone, I can still be someone else's. It is a fascinating thing to watch the perception of others, being as they are so very different from me, but just as real.
Letting go of the past.... as difficult as it is... produces a great door for the future.
July 14, 2008
Making a mole hill out of a mountain.
We all make huge deals out of nothing more times in our lives than we care to recount. We do this because every problem relating to us is HUGE no matter how small it really is. A real trick is making the real mountains into mole hills. Life is about perception and we can "think" ourselves into some of the worst life has to offer. The trick.... Remember that our lives are only a moment. Each experience, each day, each friend, family... all roles into our one moment here on earth. Death is a simple physical truth. Every organism perishes... without fail. Death and Taxes and a mother's love.
Just stop. Breath. Remember that your life really is in God's hands and if you would just let him work, you'd be surprised how small the mountains become (or rather you learn that they never were mountains... just steps in your path.)
Loss and grief are inevitable. Don't give into the pain or it will consume your heart. Remember this life is only a moment. Stop making it a tortuous lifetime of pain. Only you can choose. :)
June 30, 2008
We never know how other people truly see us. Sometimes you find out that things you thought were just normal you, are not quite the best way to be. It's not always about trying to be yourself no matter what anyone thinks. That view should die in High School. As you grow older, you tend to discover it's not about you... it never was. You find out more about yourself when helping others than when accepting all the help. It becomes hard to give an inch when you are accustom to accepting a mile, but when you realize that there is more joy in that in than there are in 100 miles, your life will change forever.
June 27, 2008
Whispers of time long ago floating on the wind can bring back full color memories that I had forgotten. We all wonder how to get back "to the good ol days." I keep trying to focus on the good ol days that happen right now. All the bad that we will laugh about later. All the good that we will wish we could relive... all that happens now will be nothing but memories on the wind by tomorrow. Making the best of today is a struggle sometimes we don't win, but as long as we learn from them, it was all worth it.
June 20, 2008
Only you can find your own truth.
That thought has been crawling around in my being all day today. Only I can find my own truth. I don't know exactly where it came from but it is being played over and over in my mind. What is my truth? That thing inside that tells me exactly who I am come what may? That instinct of what is right? On a daily basis we are surrounded by friends and acquaintances that will tell us every thought on their mind and try to sway us one way or the other. If you have no truth that you hold onto, many different minds may change what is inherently you. You at your core. Your truth. That thing inside that makes you strong and true to yourself.
Having difficult with friends is one of the most challenging situations to our truth. We are intertwined with them and love them and know that their thoughts matter to us and make a difference to us. They are the closest to being able to change our truth... whatever that may be. A strong friend does not allow circumstance to cloud their mind. They stay focused on what task might be at hand at that moment. I honestly admit, I am not always the best at keeping my temper when someone I love bites at me for reasons I don't understand. I lose my truth. I lose that rock that my ship is moored too at the moment and foolishly allow the winds to carry my ship into uncharted waters. It is then that remembering my truth is the most important thing to carry me back to the safety of the harbor. Am I strong enough to know the truth that I must cling too like the very life vest that keeps me afloat in strange waters? The ship can be dashed to pieces on rocks unseen by eyes that have fault. Imperfection can guide in directions that cause cascading failure.
Remembering who you are.... really... who you ARE is step num 1. I am Christian and with that a mired of interesting things I believe (yes even in the hobby.) I know I am a strong woman. A beautiful person that has a soft heart and gives everything I have to someone else.... Is that my truth? I don't believe so. It is that thing inside that noone can move. That knowledge that you are you and noone else may impede what God has created, but yet again.. it is so much more than that.
Your truth is that feeling you have deep in heart that says "This is right and you know what to do" (Alot of help our hearts give us, I'll say.) Sorting through the madness and finding the Truth inside, is something I have yet to master. I will follow this truth that alludes me and find my own truth. It is there right now inside me and it is mine to claim.
Only you may find your own truth....
Feb 11, 2008
I have found that I think up the most interesting things to write here when I am in session. Unfortunately, I forget everything before I can get fingers to keyboard. Sorry. I have good news though, I have about 15 min of bored time and I thought I would try and pretend I was in session so I could think up something while I had the computer in front of me.
Nope didn't work. I will try again later. Don't forget to support your local provider. :)
January 25, 2008
In between sessions today I thought I would make a note about what a pain in the ass it is to book with providers. I have found a handful that are perfect, but geez it's a bitch to find the handful. I would be incredibly secure in my business just because the competition is so lame. My goodness what the heck is wrong with some of these women? Do you want work or not? That's it. Just wanted to bitch for a second. I feel your pain guys.
Sep 4, 2007
You know what guys, I really feel for you regarding women. I swear women do not listen, think they know every damn thing, they use sex as a weapon, and they drive like crap. No wonder you all come to the hobby. It's sort of funny actually. You have to escape the women in your life by coming to see more women. Boy, if women don't just run the universe, I don't know who does.
Well, the dog tore the trash up a couple days ago. I mean she tore the hell out of that trash. I had coffee grinds all the way into my bedroom. I think I shoved my foot so far up her butt, you could have smelled my toes through her nose. We have since made up and I was told that I was not giving her enough attention. So she got a bath and nice big bone and we are happily sitting here watching National Security and typing on the computer.
I was banned from ASPD this week for a week. Complete misunderstanding (I know how it looks, but it was.) I had quoted that provider that just doesn't seem to know which playground she wants to play in, and had written my reply. I got up from the computer (before posting) and went out to get the kiddo and make supper and what not before bedtime. After the house was settled, I came back to the computer to check and see if that was really what I wanted to say...Yip. It was. So I posted. Come to find out, Roadking had posted asking everyone to stay on topic several posts after the one I quoted, but many before the one I actually posted. So I got in trouble for being disrespectful. I explained it to him, but I am pretty sure he has to make an example of me so everyone else knows better... or something. Whatever, I probably needed the break and I know the hobby husband will be thrilled that my nose will be out of the computer for a week. Ah ha, little does he know that now I am banned from ASPD, I will turn my attention toward my site. MUAHAHAHAHA.
Here's the link to the thread that lead to my banning. I thought it was quite a funny read.
This weekend is my son's first birthday party (one he's attending) I think I'm more nervous than he is. Well actually I know I am, because I don't think he cares yet. This whole kid growing up thing, is really neet.
April 2, 2007
OH My that was a great vacation. I gotta tell you guys, I have not felt this good since I was 20. It was actually really cool. I turned 30 on March 29th 2007. Before I turned I felt I was at the end. End of childhood (you know you get that boost of being a kid through your 20's and you have to start being a grown up at 30.) When I turned 30 I was at a nothing gas station on I45N between Dallas and Houston (that stayed open just so I wouldn't have to squat, Thank you.) I was sitting in a stall peeing like I had stored it up for a month when it hit me... I'm not even half way yet. I was so frustrated that I still had 3 hours to go and had apparently only driven 2.5 hours, I started complaining to myself.
Then (angels sing) It hits me again ... I'm not even half way yet!!!! I am only at the beginning of adulthood. It feels like moving from high school to college. I felt so old at the end of my 20's and now ... Damn! I feel like I am the youngest person in the room. This is GREAT!! I should have turned 30 a long time ago.
I'm not even half way yet.
November 5, 2006
I am sure glad I don't write the news. We would all go terribly uninformed with the frequency of my writing. It has been quite the adventure this last few months. Changing from summer to winter is always very fun for me. I love any reason to have a fire going inside. The smell and feel of it is just intoxicating. Especially when it's raining outside like it is now and the fire is going in the fireplace, makes every problem seem so small and insignificant compared to the beauty of that sight and that sound combined.
June 13, 2006 (Friday the 13th came on Tuesday this month)
Have you ever just sat and looked out your window in the middle of the day and thought, "I am so happy to be alive."?
I was having one such moment today and it prompted me to start writing on this page. I know that anyone that actually takes the time to read this section is actually interested in my thoughts. Although you might not be as interested as I write them :) . Well I am being interrupted, I will return later on to finish my thought.
